Today, I was doing laundry and found a newer dress of mine from Halara, it is a athleisure dress, with built in shorts and shelf bra. A pretty darn comfy dress and one you can definitely chase after your kids or pets in. But, something happened today that involved me looking in the mirror and going ew. I saw how I looked in it. I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like who I saw in the mirror. Which was me. I did not like how I looked in the dress. I didn't like how I looked at all. I did not like the person I was seeing in that dress in that moment. No. So, here is the thing. I am a recovering anorexic. I have body dysmorphia. I have OCD, literally I do, and this is on top of my other mental stuff. Stuff like BPD1, autism, adhd, dyslexia, I believe I have dyscalcia, which is why I am shit at math, no matter how it is taught to me. I am shit at it. Which is why of all the subjects I homeschool my older son with, math is the one I hire my kid a tutor for. The OCD is presente...
I once, a long time ago, did not dress how you may have seen me before. I was more of the goth punk type. At least in my teens and very early 20’s. But, alas the constant getting made fun of in school over it. And the not so subtle remarks from coworkers and yes, family. Made it hard to keep dressing like I walked out of Hot topic and Gadzooks. So, when I was in my mid 20’s and older. I decided I needed to dress how everyone else expected. How everyone else did. How all the popular it girls and bloggers did. So, I did. And I was miserable. But hey, at least people were nicer to me. I should say “nicer” because no one really wanted to be my friend. My undiagnosed neurodivergent self was not something anyone else wanted to be around. And yeah,I knew. I knew how others felt about me. I felt like I never belonged. Ever. And then I started blogs, but never happy. Something was missing. Someone was missing . My inner child needed to be healed and then I found SELKIE. The dresses ...
Hello friends and void. OUTFIT from the other day. tee // skirt // stocking compressio n// o ver stockings // I definitely feel as though I am screaming into the void whenever I post something. Whether here or on my social media. Especially on the social media pages. I feel like I am just talking into or yelling into nothingness. You know, the void. It can be a bit of a mood killer when that happens. As there is nothing commenting back. It seems only the super attractive or those posting more rage bait style or engagement bait style posts get any kind of follow. I am none of those things. And I refuse to do engagement bait. How to spot them? Rage bait doesn't necessarily have to be in your face with the rage. It can be something small, like a zipper on the back of the dress not zipped up all the way on purpose. Engagement bait? They ask things like "hey cosplayers, show me your most recent cosplays!"or they will say " Show me your PETS!" and they never respo...
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