Hi there friends I am so excited to share my new green synthetic wig and also wanted to share some more insight on living with Trichotillomania. And well what you shouldn’t say to someone suffering with this. If you can give me a moment of your time.
And as usual if you want to know and purchase what I am wearing I will do a scrolling bar below this and at the end of the post.
So having an illness like trichotillomania is rough. It is rough on the one suffering and is rough on friends and family. But sometimes, even the most well meaning family or friends . Ok even well meaning strangers.They will say things that just are not any help. Or it makes the puller feel worse. It helps no one.
So what not to say?
One thing I can not stand is being told to flat out "stop doing that!" It adds more stress much more stress.And it adds the element of shame. Which sucks!
what to say instead? Ask if the person in question is ok. You notice some anxiety.
Another "you are ruining your hair!"
no shit sherlock! Believe me the person knows. I know that i am. I get so embarrassed over it! It is such a gut wrenching thing.
What the hell are you doing? why are you so weird?!
Yeah who isnt weird. For a lot of us, we zone out ,we escape ,and we start pulling. For many who are unaware of what this is get freaked out by it. It is not much different than those who bite their nails. just ours cause bald spots and missing lashes.
do you need meds? ( this one how it is worded can be actually just an inquisitive question)
some meds can "help" but do they really? I do talk therapy and take meds but I still pull.
should i duck tape your hands?
should I glue your buttcheeks closed?
just wrong.
Why are you destroying your pretty hair?
So this one , it is a double
edged sword.
no matter the answer they may understand or they may say it is all excuses and then tell you to stop. Many trich pullers do so for different reasons. like for some who cut this form of self harm gives a release, without blood. And I used to cut in Highschool. not noticeable and I was able to weasle my way out of explanations. Just like my eating disorder. Was good at hiding it.
So why do I pull? First, anxiety. I have anxiety. It helps me release the anxiety.
second depression. I pull when depressed.
stress doesn't help and neither does boredom.
And lastly, it is an unhealthy for of stimming for me. Yeah, late in life diagnosis, one of many women who slip through the cracks in the 80's and 90's with diagnosis of ASD. I was not given proper tools to deal with anxiety and my disorder and soooo this is a result. One of many results. I had a meltdown and panic attack at the hospital the other day and it was hard to come down from the cloud. And I wanted to pull so bad but couldnt thanks to my IV arm. And I did a little when I got home. Trust me I feel shame when I pull. I feel ugly and when people make those comments .
You look like a freak when you do that and you will go bald if you dont cut it out !
this doesnt help anyone. We sometimes dont even realize how we look when we are in the zone or on the cloud. And honestly can you look less like a bastard saying stuff like that?! It helps No one.
You can stop if you want to.
now if it were that simple. We all want to stop but can’t! It is so hard and every day is a struggle.
All I ask is you show a bit of compassion. Be the shoulder to cry on. Show some damned empathy we are struggling and our struggles are handled differently.
shop my look:
Wig from Lit Unicorns use code Glamorousandgeeky for $5 off! Shop here
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