The Empress and trich bad day

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First I want to talk about this Tarot card tee I bought from a fellow creator on Instagram Juniperfoxx, her account is all about fox rescue and life with foxes and her other family members ! A opossum, some lizards, a dog, and rescues of other animals. Juniper is the queen or empress of it all . A very opinionated little lady (check out their gram here!) they have a shop to buy fox and opossum apparel and you can help support them!











Now on to the Trichotillomania. Such a lovely condition to have. I am being a sarcastic shit with that one. It sucks, and it has been so bad lately. I don’t know if it is because the stress from being studying when I can and feeling like I never have time for it! Or! Is it my health and stressing from that? Or my kids driving me crazy and I never get time alone.From anyone in the house. Or is it COVID stress? I don’t want to pull out my hair because I had bald patches now. And I feel so ugly. The wigs help me but the minute they come off the hair pulling starts. And if I get bored I pull , this form of stimming  for me is destructive and a perfect example of why developing GOOD coping and stimming skills as a kid is important . I was a kid who slipped through the cracks. There are a lot of us women in our late 20’s ,early 30’s and mid 30’s who discover they are autistic. Bare in mind that diagnosis is easier to do not so true back when we were kids. I was called quirky, hyper, smart, loner and a home body. I didn’t like change, I mentally probably was way younger than I was and still am. I have always been told I seemed younger than I was. Throughout my life. Anyways, my hair pulling has been really bad lately as has my nail biting. I feel crazy. Feel so crazy. 
 






It is not a fun feeling. Not at all . I hate it. I wish I didn’t do it. I get so jealous of people with such pretty hair and I have to fake it to be that . Because I destroy my hair with pulling and splitting and breaking my hair. The shame of it all is really depressing. Wearing a wig gives me back the confidence I lost from the hair pulling but at the same time I feel ashamed of myself for letting the problem get this far. But truthfully I have had trichotillomania since middle school and I am now in my 30’s . 36(gasp) to be exact. 



  

my outfit

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