Doctor visits and Neurocardiogenic syncope

 

A few weeks ago, something happened at my OBGYN appointment. Something that I just still can not believe happened so bad. Again.  And I know that was a shit lead up. I know.  So , let me go on with it. 

I was getting a colposcopy for some precancerous cells and biopsy. And things were fine during, yeah it hurt, I was still at the end of my monthly visitor “aunt Irma” and so the biopsy hurt more this time than last. Still I was fine. I felt ok. 

And so when the nurse and I were talking and she was telling me about the Paraguard and that she was going to give me a pamphlet on it. 

Side note: with all the antibiotics I keep going on I decided on an iud. My kidneys want to be silly and I am going on antibiotics AGAIN. Ugh. 

Anyways she tells me I can get dressed and meet her at the desk for a follow up and pamphlets. Ok I tell her and then I go to get dressed. Mind you I was standing the whole time she and I were talking. And I felt woozy but not out of the ordinary for me. Part of the neurocardiogenic life. 

I grabbed my underwear and then I was dreaming I was being held down in my dream by some person. There were palm trees and my cat who is dead was there along with one of my sons I was screaming in my dream but I could feel myself whimpering in reality. It was like an out of body experience. I can not explain it. I felt numb: I felt cold and sweaty and all at once. Then I woke up. Woke up in a strange place: there was an exam table. I was half naked in a chair and I had no idea where I was. And I was scared! I looked around for some sort of market to let me know what happened. Who I was where I was. Then I saw it. A diagram of a woman’s uterus and Fallopian tubes and ovaries. That is when I knew I was at the Obgyn office!!!! I got dressed. Some how walked to the front desk. Somehow got to my card only to wake up again with my knees on the steering wheel the chair reclined and the ac was full blast and on very cold. 

It was then that I realized I was ignoring my illness a bit too much. So much so that it took that happening to knock sense j to my head to get help. 

See the thing is I have had this problem most of my life. And some days are way better than other. And I was on a regiment of meds years ago that worked! But I was still not always the healthiest due to the issue. My Neurocardiogenic Syncope is hard and inconvenient, it has cost me my last job. I was let go to being sick. I have had tilt tables done. I have been a pin cushion. And I am starting all over again. All because I neglected someone while making sure other were all set; me. I neglected me and told myself Constantly to get over it! It isn’t like anyone really truly believes you are sick anyways. Invisible disabilities are hard because you don’t see it . It is there but hard to prove. And it wears you down. So I just pretended like nothing was wrong for over 7 years. Yeah... and it was hard. So when the fainting happened to where I couldn’t ignore or deny and then I was down for 2 weeks after I knew I needed to go to my specialist.

So I went to the doctor and discussed my condition. I told him the new doctor who kind of looked like Chris Pratt . Like Guardians Pratt. And I discussed my weird swelling in my arms and legs and stuff. I had thought it was due to my meds from before. Turns out yeah in part but mostly due to my condition again. Great. Just great. And he went to look at my legs. Now I was wearing pants at this time and socks, well I didn’t realize I hadn’t shaved.I had porcupine legs... I didn’t think my legs needed to be looked at.but I was once again wrong next. We discussed needing more salt in my diet. Again ugh I am not one who really wants a lot of salt. So the outcome of the appointment?I have to take it easy. I can’t drive(ugh !) and I need a 7day heart monitor. And a ultrasound of my heart. I need to wear compression socks. Keep drinking water and take my

Meds! So that was my day. I have also been on the couch sick with another kidney infection. Fun fun fun. 

So this dress is why I did love my rental service with rent the runway. I loved it. It was fun it was my way of not adding more to my closet. But, they phased out the unlimited service and piped price. Which sucks! And if they grandfather in unlimited plan users I would have stayed. But no. And shipping takes forever now. And the pink dress was stinky last shipment and I got another damaged piece!

Anyways, this dress is by theia and it is so beautiful and flowy! The print is fabulous!