Bald spots and flabby parts. Dealing with self esteem.
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It took me a lot to get out and take these photos with this super simplistic outfit on.
A lot. I had a lot in my mind going against me. Some thinned out and maybe a bald patch from my hair loss and trichotillomania and the flabby tummy from having a second child and having medicines cause weight issues. It was all going against my favor , all of it. In fact I actually started to hate and I mean really hate cropped tops. Because in my mind someone with my body and my age shouldn't wear them. I mean who do I think I am? I am no Giselle and I am no Adriana nope . And certainly not Naiomi.
But then i saw other influencers and bloggers share the body positivity. And it is empowering. Truly. But i just can not stop looking at the flaws. Flaws I caused by yanking my hair all the time. And the flabby flaws that were caused by carrying my little and then the meds that followed. My eating disorder tries to speak up and i have to force her away.
Ugh, I wasn't wanting this post to be all wah wah woe is me and my messed up brain and blah. But, it is hard to not be when you look in a mirror and sometimes don't like the image you see. We have all been there. All of us at some point in our lives have been there. No matter the color of your skin or what gender or gender you identify with. We have all been there. And i guess that is another reason I share these experiences with you all, i want your to know that you are not alone. You matter and it sucks having feelings of crap esteem . But what helped me get feeling better? Seeing these pictures looking as good as they did. And a nap. Yeah sleep seemed to help the meh i suck and my hair is uglier now because I can not stop hurting myself! As well as other self hurt via verbal self abuse.
But yeah, the nap helped. my 2 yr old fell asleep on me and i fell asleep soon after he did. So nice .
The top is from Target as are the jeans . And I felt the cardigan from Shein was a nice touch.
Like I said the outfit is simple. And yet I put a lot of thought into it. The purple bag to go with the Olive greens and the denim because i haven't worn denim in a long time. Because my covid pant style morphed into Joggers... all the joggers. Gimme joggers.
Swear to goddess I could live, breath , and die happy in just joggers. I mean they make them now to look "work appropriate".
Jogger pant life is real guys.
Ok I think I have found another polish that stays on!This Vega and cruelty free polish is by Pacifica! Pacifica also makes other stuff like makeup , body, and hair products. I have used their makeup, eyeshadow and lip products before. I loved my palette, but my kids decided to destroy it! Anyways, how I ended up with these was when I took my oldest to Ulta with me. We went to Ulta with the intent of a new compact for me besides the shapetapeone by Tarte, because it was not that good. For me! May be fine for you. But it oxidized on my skin. Anyways, we went through the store and got to the polish. And my son picked out all these greens and blues and neon pinks in polish. But the opi and orly do not work on my nails. They peel right off. And then I saw the Pacifica, and said “let’s try these on mommy nails!” I let him pick, and he chose these beautiful colors. JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content. They stay on guys, they are gorgeous col
I have been coloring my Rider Waitdeck coloring book. A lot. And if you don’t know , it is a tarot card deck. And wearing this tee I bought from Juniper Fox on instagram is an awesome tie in for this concept of tarot cards. It is a fabulous tee featuring a fabulous fox, juniper. I also had to add the crown because it requires it I think.Shooting these pictures I didn’t want any old place to shoot, and then. I found the flowers, my allergies were not thrilled but my creative mind was. The empress stands for authority and a strong female figure.I am not either of those things, by the way But there is more to the card than that. Th empress is passionate and motherly a “I am woman hear me roar!” Kind of woman. She is not mysterious or a secretive lady like the high priestess. For this card it symbolizes pleasure ,abundance , and fertility. Birth marriage and literal or creative type pregnancy.but there is also a reversed side to the card as with most tarot. The reversed view of the car is
Ok, fast fashion. I admit I use it, yes . Who doesn’t in some form or another? But in this day and age we are becoming more and more into thrifting. A lot of people are lucky to have some great thrift shops near them. They find all sorts of stuff! Me? I have to shop online so I shop on the Real Real. I love them and have bought many a Herve Leger dresses from them. Gucci, Chloe, Dvf, etc. I need to wear those dresses more, they are comfy.And also Irent clothes, or did before they kept getting sent dirty and stinky! The top I have on is by Gucci and I got it onThe Real Real. Along with a Tibi skirt. And I love this top! It is one of those great scores! I need to go back to the Real Real and shop after I get my new Selkie dress. Anyways we are talking Second hand gewds. I love it and you should too. One thing is unique items and also saving items from a landfill. Give it a try! And you can always repurpose items like I did here .
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