Glamorous and geeky

 Today, I was doing laundry and found a newer dress of mine from Halara, it is a athleisure dress, with built in shorts and shelf bra. A pretty darn comfy dress and one you can definitely chase after your kids or pets in. But, something happened today that involved me looking in the mirror and going ew. I saw how I looked in it. I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like who I saw in the mirror. Which was me. I did not like how I looked in the dress. I didn't like how I looked at all. I did not like the person I was seeing in that dress in that moment.  No. So, here is the thing. I am a recovering anorexic. I have body dysmorphia. I have OCD, literally I do, and this is on top of my other mental stuff. Stuff like BPD1, autism, adhd, dyslexia, I believe I have dyscalcia, which is why I am shit at math, no matter how it is taught to me. I am shit at it. Which is why of all the subjects I homeschool my older son with, math is the one I hire my kid a tutor for. The OCD is presente

 I have been feeling like a bit of a crisis, like how do I want dress? Do I want to be over the top? Do I want to express myself? I know how I want to dress, I know how I want to be. But then I look at the mirror and hate how things look on me. I hate my body so much. And it is so hard to get things exercise wise done right now with my brain being a mess and neuropathy. I decided I need to get back into 3 mile walks daily again. It is not really too hard to do. And it only takes an hour of my time. That is time I need to get to doing what I need to get myself back into some shape. Not to the extreme that my mind wants, the eating disorder is a nightmare. I have to be careful. So outfits Top // pants // shoes // belt // stockings // necklace I have been wearing compression stockings again for my neuropathy top // dress // shoes // necklace